Sunday, March 31, 2013

Diagnosis: Lovesick

I kind of feel bad for composing and publishing my last blog post. Maybe. Actually, to be honest, I really do not know why I wrote it in the first place. Perhaps because it felt good to vent openly about a rough period of my life. Perhaps because I had to let a few people know my emotional side of it all. Perhaps I just wanted to blog again. Who knows. Either way it is out there and I am not taking it back. OK. Enough about that person.

These next few posts are going to be about love and relationships because it has been on my mind a lot these past few weeks. The good and the bad side of it all. It will all stop eventually and then I can blog about my three jobs and how I have moved out on my own and how I can't stop eating cheese.

Have you ever dated someone secretly? You know, behind the backs of your friends and parents? If you have, you are not alone. If you haven't, don't. I am pretty sure I could have a degree in that field so trust me on this one. If you have to keep your relationship secret then you shouldn't be in the relationship to begin with. If only I had that advice 87 years ago. I always get hurt in the end even if I end it or get left in the dust. When I like someone I REALLY like him no matter what he has done to me. Surprise! I am sensitive. I get attached super fast. It's a problem I need to overcome. Why can't I just end a relationship and move on? Why do I linger on the thought that maybe we could get back together and just be happier that way? Why do I linger on the thought that I am now without him and I would rather be with him than alone. Too many memories with a guy is complete emotional suicide for this girl.

One day I'll be able to watch Phineas and Ferb without getting all misty eyed since I introduced it to him. One day I'll be able to eat at BJ's again without being mopey he's not there with me sipping on my strawberry lemonade. One day I'll be able to eat chicken fingers from Chicago Brewing Company again. Period. One day I'll realize that I can DEFINITELY do better. Way better.

Also, another...One day I'll be able to listen to The Beatles or Calvin Harris' "Feel So Close" without crying for hours. One day I'll be able to eat Pop Tarts and Starbursts and Tropical Smoothie again without an empty pit in my stomach. One day I'll be able to drive down Las Vegas Boulevard without any memories flooding my mind. One day I'll realize that this guy and I will NEVER be. It's too complicated of a situation to even worry about.

Maybe if these two weren't so good looking all of this would be easier for me. I guess I am just a little bit love sick.


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