Tuesday, February 2, 2010

LOST Season 6: Episode 1

*SPOILER ALERT*

LOST SEASON SIX! The Final Chapter. So excited yet so sad. This show has gone from a plane crash to people dying to island polar bears to black smoky ghost demon monsters to a hot Australian chick having a baby to more people dying to time travel to sporadic, scientific nose bleeds to...You get the idea. A lot happened. Yadda yadda yadda 5 seasons later we are here. I have stayed off of Twitter and facebook in fear of having tonight's show ruined for me. So, instead of being there tweeting every 5 seconds I decided to write my thoughts/tweets here as a post. If you don't want to know anything about the premiere then I recommend you stop here and go search for it on hulu or abc.com. It was wow. That is all. Enjoy my random blurbs. And don't judge my craziness either. I will hunt you down and make you beg for mercy....OK LOVES!

*Um, really? Turbulence. Crap!!!
*Awwww. I just love that Rose.
*lol @ laundry in the dryer.
*OMG ROSE AND BERNARD ARE SO CUTE!!! She missed him as he was away in the lavatory.
*What the bleeding neck?
*WHAT THE DESMOND? Oh, right. There is no need for him to push the button. Thank you Juliet.
*So the island is Atlantis....? Cool.
*Sawyer crying = Ashley crying.
*Kate. In a tree. Deaf? Oh, phew. Her ears are ringing...but she is still on the island. I'm confused which is not uncommon coming from this show.
*SAWYER NOOOOOOOO! And Jack???? Phew. Alive on the island. Island? Wait what? They were just on the plane.
*Ok James. You have serious anger urrshews. Chill out Captain Con Man.
*This is not the first time this show has confused the hell out of me.
*Man I want Evangeline Lilly's hair, eyes and body.
*Hurley needs his beard back...Oh there it is :D
*I hear Juliet!!! Kate I heard it too! Dig you bloody savages.
*John Locke? Is that him in the bushes? It always is. Ok Hurley. you with a gun is weird
*JACOB!!! Seriously. This show is insane. Wait. He's dead. I get it. Hurley = Haley Joel Osment.
*Boone, I want your to have your babies.
*You sir are not John Locke.
*Yeah that's right Ben. I thought he was dead too. Shocked me for sure.
*Sayid is so bada$$.
*Dominic...I mean Chah-lee! He better come to because he is favorite even though he is a heroine addict. Hate the sin not the sinner, right? Ok so now I'm gagging because Jack is sticking his fingers down Charlie's throat. GAH! Annnd scene. What the? More drugs. Of course.
*That must be SOME moonlight for them to see enough to dig for Juliet. I know it's tv and all but really?
*Ben. It's not nice to stare. Even if the person is dead.
*You can NOT kill Locke on the island. What part of that don't people get? I'm not lying. SEE! Check out your bullet. Exactly. Get ready to die.
*Crap. I hear it coming It's the black smoky ghost demon monster. It's coming to get you! What the freak??? Yeah. That thing is pissed...And then there's Locke! WHAAAAAAAAAAT? Ok now I'm freaking out. "I hate that you had to see me like that."
*My dad said Juliet and Sawyer kissing was sick. I'm guessing he was talking about the fact that they have crusty dry blood on their faces. Just a guess. My mom said it was only ketchup.
*Sawyer, you really need to stop crying in front of me!
*Uh oh he's going to kill you Jack.
*Oh look LA. I guess that means the show is over? Forever? Lies. This show is lying to me.
*Boone, I want to have your babies.
*Kate...sucks to be you. Chah-lee ALSO sucks to be you. Dang if looks could kill Jack would drop dead.
*Boone, I want to have your babies.
*HOUR ONE OVER! I learned nothing. *sigh*
*Seriously though Hurley, what is in that guitar case? I have been wanting to know a long while now. It's not nice to keep secrets. Especially from me. Just sayin'.
*Mrs Ashley Shepard. Has a nice ring to it.
*I screamed "OH MY GOSH!" because this show is insane. I know I said that already but it just is ok so go with it. Christian's body is lost now. Are they going to explain how and why he was on the island? And where the hell is Claire?
*"Ah crap!" Kate is missing. Now Hurley is....somewhere? *gasp* and then there's the whispering and THEN there had to be running shadows in the background.
*More "others." This needs to stop. My mom just said "Now we are at Stargate."
*Kate is so bada$$. OUCH!!! Face to the counter top. Much hurt. And how are there no women in the "ladies room?" Ok nevermind.
*Ohhhh yes. Miles talks to dead people. So, Miles = Haley J too.
*IT WORKED!!! See. No need to kill Jack now, Sawyer.
*THE HOT FLIGHT ATTENDANT. I knew I recognized that voice. She is one of the "others" now.
*Good move Hurley. Yell out Jacob's name. Right on.
*Ohhhh The Artist Formally Known as Prince owns the island I see. His staff was found in the guitar case.
*That was cool. Attila the Hun knows what's up.
*Jin. Seriously. Idiot. And your wife speaks English. She just lied.
*That water looks gross. Perhaps it is beer? It's a beer font.
*Was it necessary to cut the palm of your hand? I don't think it was needed, Attila.
*lol @ Hurley. "Can unconscious people hold their breath?"
*Sayid. Wake up. It's ok. You can stop fooling us now.
*This makes me think of playing Zelda. You know, where there are ginormous fairies in the waterfalls that fill up your empty hearts? Or where you can catch teeny fairies with your net to put in your flasks? Yeah. That.
*Sayid.Notdead.Notdead.Notdead.Notdead....Dang it. I lose.
*HOLY COMMERCIALS!!! DVR helps but still. I had to hit fast forward. play. fast forward. play. Like 4 times. It kept teasing me.
*Kate...you can't run. Why do you even try? You're making me hella nervous. Oh great. There's your FBI friend. Annnnd you run away......GUN! WITH CLAIRE IN THE CAB!
*This is too weird, you guys. Too weird. Just as much as the word weird. I swear I want to spell it w-I-e-r-d but it just looks even weirder. So weird it is.
*Atilla is pissed about something. or scared? It's really hard to tell. He's yelling jibberish.
*Ew. Back to Locke...But not really Locke. Remember how he is the black smoky ghost demon monster? Odd. What DOES he want?.......Oh to go home. Home. No biggie.
*Miles, are you going to tell us what Sayid is saying? You better. Or I keel you.
*What if it's Christian? The smoky thing? Nah. That's ridiculous.
*The real Locke can be a sweetheart sometimes. He made Jack smile when he was upset.
*Can't Jack help Locke? He is a spinal surgeon after all...CALLED IT!!! The business card just happened. :D
*OMG! Richard's face.
* *gasp* I SEE CURLY HAIR!!! Sayid! Is Jacob back in Sayid?
*Of course that's how tonight ends. Of course.

You guys. I yelled so much tonight. Ugh. Cah-rayzee! SUCH A TEASE!!! Such a tease you are. BooHiss. The end.

5 comments:

Chaos Painted Masterpiece said...

Wow...just...wow.

Phil Villarreal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becky said...

You are a genius! That was hilarious! lol at wierd or weird...whatever. Can't wait to read next weeks!

Jayci said...

I wish the polar bear would pull a Sayid and come back to life!! There's something thrilling about running from huge animals. This is why I live in Alaska I guess!

Lark said...

Um, so, hi Ashley...not sure why I am reading your blog at 11:30 pm when I should be sleeping, but here I am somehow laughing soooo hard at this post....especially the part about, well, all of it. And then when you said Mrs. Ashley Shepherd. Good one. Like it. I'm checking out your blog for next weeks re-cap!