Friday, January 29, 2010

Cheesecake Factory FTW

My obsession for Barnes and Noble has been re-lit this past week. I still to this day enter those oddly heavy doors just to spend countless hours walking around the store looking at the myriad of books and yes, even smelling them. I like the smell of books. So sue me. Ok so don't. I neither have the time nor the money to be sued right now. How about I just take you out for sushi or something? And I digress.

Personally, Barnes and Noble means a lot more than classic literature and sex books. True story. Starbucks, anyone? Yum. You guys. My Barnes and Noble's Starbucks sells The Cheesecake Factory cupcakes. YOU GUYS! Cheesecake. Factory. Cupcakes. Do you even understand my happiness? Nothing bad comes out of that place. I have a feeling God owns it. But I think Satan owns the dessert section because IT IS POISON! but very delicious poison.

The Double Chocolate Cupcake first caught my eye but it didn't even look remotely appetizing to me. Honestly, I really don't like chocolate cake. Blech. Wait. Don't roll your eyes at me like that. Just because I'm a hormonal female does not mean I HAVE to, under some kind of contract, enjoy chocolate. There are other things I would rather whore about. Chocolate just does not happen to be one of them. Now salty foods on the other hand...mmmm calamari from PF Chang's. Yes please. And I digress. Again.

I'm sorry. Sometimes I take forever to get to the point of my posts, so if you made it this far into it then CONGRATULATIONS!!! By the way, the caps locked congratulations, was more for my sake, not so much yours. Ever since my posts have become more sporadic I have lost readers....OH MY GAR ASHLEY! SHUT UP AND TALK ABOUT THE DAMN RED VELVET CUPCAKES ALREADY!

ahem. Yes. Red Velvet Cupcakes. You guys, can I please just tell you that these red velvet cupcakes are on my Top Best Thing I Ever Ate list? Well, (pause) this little piece of poisonous pastry is on my Top Best Thing I Ever Ate list (alliteration not intended). Who knew? I surely didn't. It literally gave me a foodgasm. Yes, I said foodgasm. There really is such a thing. Trust me on this one. I've been around when it comes to red velvet and never in my whole life have I tasted something so delicious. Hands down the best thing I ever ate. After my first bite I swear my eyes rolled back into my head. I sah-ware. I looked down at the little beauty and literally said out loud, "Um, are you kidding me?" Nope. It was neither kidding around with me nor my taste buds.

I'd like to sit here and tell you how moist (shivers) the cake was and how silky the cream cheese frosting was but I'm not going to bore you with that. You'll just have to have a foodgasm of your own. As much as I would love to give you a foodgasm via my tasty words I honestly think you should give yourself one. I mean do you sit around and talk about your actual O's with your friends? You do? Hmmmm...Oh, well, that is nice. I haven't. OK you can go away now.

PS If you can't find these cupcakes please go and at least try The Cheesecake Factory's Red Velvet Cheesecake. OMGar. Multiple foodgasms.

8 comments:

Lyd said...

Next time I go to Idaho Falls, I'll try and get me one of dees.

ashleyO said...

Jes!!! Do eet.

Phil Villarreal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tropicanna said...

I had a foodgasm just reading your post. I'm hoping eating the actual thing will give me multiple.

ashleyO said...

Girl. Trust me. It did it for me.

ashleyO said...

Phil. You would be thanking Satan.

Chaos Painted Masterpiece said...

I don't really know whether to be disturbed, or extremely turned on...hmmm.

ashleyO said...

I vote for the latter. plzkthxbai.