Thursday, December 13, 2007

This Is Why People Are Single....!!!

In the Daily Universe readers, students, faculty and BYU staff, are invited to write letters to the editor when they feel the need to get something off of their chest. The letters can express how someone gets lost on campus or how the Cougarettes shouldn't dance to hymns or that others shouldn't dis on Utah/Utahns. This section is best known as [Readers' Forum].

In Wednesday, December 12's edition, a young fellow from Springfield, Oregon wrote a very specific letter to the editor about his feelings towards the women of the church. His letter is entitled "Message for Sisters." I'm not going to share my feelings at this moment but I AM including his words below for you to read first.

If I were a Relief Society president I would teach the sisters that:
  1. BYU guys don't have to be dancers to be marriageable. Do I really have to watch "Step Up" with you?
  2. RMs are not creepy. They're just awkward. Wouldn't you be if you hadn't dated in two years?
  3. Bug-eyed sunglasses and furry boots are not attractive.
  4. Taping "Will Open for Dates Only" signs on your door will not get you more dates.
  5. Don't ask guys to watch musicals with you. We watch "Terminator" and "Die Hard," not "Newsies" and "Wicked."
  6. Guys go to football games to watch football, not to chat. If you don't understand the rules, don't ask.
  7. Synthetic diamonds are just as good as, and a lot cheaper, than "real" diamonds. Do you want to live in a cardboard box for five years after your wedding?
  8. Marriage is not a major.
  9. You can ask guys on dates. They won't be offended.
  10. Sisters, you're special.
OK. Now it's time for my verbal retaliation. But before I do, I must admit that I agree on some of his arguments. Bug-eye sunglasses and furry mammoth boots are heinous (especially when the pants are tucked into the boots *gags*). And Synthetic diamonds are AWESOME!!! Don't you think being picky and demanding about having a REAL DIAMOND is worldly? If he can't afford it he can't afford it. It's not the ring that's important; it's the temple that counts. I'd rather him take me to the temple then take me to Tiffany & Co. ANYDAY! (both would be nice but I could care less).

First***It's only fair if we have to sit and watch Action movies that the guy sits and watches a simple movie like "You've Got Mail" or "Step Up." IT'S CALLED COMPROMISE! If you don't want to watch it then find another girl (and good luck)! Luckily, I love every type of movie out there except for the gory thanks.
Second***I've seen guys post silly things on their doors too. It's not just the 'sisters' that do this. Ask my brother and cousins!!! LOL...If you have a problem with it stop going over there.
Third***I've gone to a couple football games where the guy talked the whole time too. And just because a girl doesn't understand the rules doesn't make her stupid. Have you ever thought that maybe she asked you about the rules because she wants to be interested in something you like or because she thinks it's cute when a guy makes her feel included/informed about something you're interested in? Maybe she likes your voice and knowledge of sports. Pathetic and rude if you ask me.
Fourth***Who ever said marriage was a major? Are you saying that we come here for the sole purpose of finding a spouse? What's wrong with that (as long as it is done subtly)? I know plenty of guys who join folk dance JUST so they can find a wife. Just because you don't have any luck with the ladies doesn't mean you must take it out on us!
Fifth***I know lots of guys who are traditionalists and they freak out, even lose interest, if a girl asks them out on a date. Most guys like to do the asking because they feel as if they are using their power of being the man. See, what makes the dating game hard is that everyone has their own preference of who they like, what they like to do/watch/eat, and even how they liked to get asked out. OH!!! Some guys make it seem as if they don't want to get asked out so we don't. I know it goes the same for 'sisters' too but make yourself seem approachable...after this spiel I don't know what the ladies are going to think. TALK ABOUT WORD VOMIT!
Lastly***"Sisters, you're special." WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? Are you just making fun of us now or are you honestly trying to be sincere about that? Yes, we are special but I sense a STROOOONG sting of sarcasm behind those words. I would know. Ask my family and friends!

There you have it folks. That is just a snippet of what I have to say. I have a myriad of thoughts swimming in my brain right now! *takes a breath* PLEASE let me know what you think of this poor, unfortunate soul's thoughts. I might be wrong but I swear he HAS to be single.


Eliza said...

That is why men aren't RS presidents.

Eliza said...

He should be kicked out of BYU for admitting to watching R-rated movies ;)

Eliza said...

I think he just explained why he is still single

ashleyO said...

Liza, I almost said the same thing about why men aren't RS presidents. We don't tell them how to do our job, so why should he tell us how to do ours? hahaha

-KJ said...

I (I don't know how to make that bold) think you need to send this to the Readers' Forum!!!!!!!!!!
What a dip stick. He has obviously had a bad dating experience. This guy sucks on lemons. Geez. I would be intrested to see what his mother has to say about this.
Well said Ash!

Mandy said...

hes totally single! what a schmuck. i thought the same thing about watching the "R's" haha
you should send this in to the readers forum.

Lyd said...

I say to send that as a rebuttal to his article!! And agreed...pants in boots = yucky. And I agree with everything that you just said. On the point of girls asking out guys; I personally think that is ridiculous. Me thinks that this is a sign that guys are just getting lazy. Also, it seems like that is the main thought of guys up here at BYU-I!! Guys always say "Girls can ask us out too." "We shouldn't have to do all the planning." To an extent, this is true. Girls should have a part in planning what they do for a date, and maybe they even pay (?) but I don't think that they (we) should be doing the asking. Be a man and get some cajones! Excuse my Spanish (instead of French...get it? Get it? haha) And I hope that all guys just don't watch "Terminator" and "Die Hard" because that means that they would have no sense of humor! I want me a man that can see just about any movie (chick flicks included) and other than testosterone filled movies)) and be able to love it. That would be nice. :)

shark like a fox said...

Ugh that is soooo lame. I remember once in my school paper this guy and this girl tried to write a "Boys against Girls" advice column where they would try to be all clever and witty and offer advice from the girl and the guy that was supposed to represent their gender. Well anyways it ended up being the most offensive sexist garbage anyone had read and it only lasted 2 issues. This kind of reminded me of it. I hate when either sex decides to list all the crimes of the opposite as if we were all made from the same cookie cutter.

also i hate furry boots, and bug-eye sunglasses sound dreadful, but i must admit i like real diamonds. BUT i dont think women should demand they be HUGE. get the size you can afford now, and upgrade when you're 40 and rich. that's what i say. (and its easy for me to say that since i got a big one =P)

Lyd said...

Oh yeah, that was the other thing that I was gunna write on! If a guy has the money to spend what ever, then that's fine. But if they don't, then a CZ is good for me. I don't want this to sound too shallow, but I think that I would rather have a nice size CZ then have a small diamond. I just like the sparklies too much to have a tiny. But there is nothing wrong with that of course. As Ash said, it's about the temple and the covenants that matter most.

shauna said...

My only response to Ashley's astute observations is "Sure, Mr. RM....why don't we sit down and watch an "R" rated movie together.
And who ever asked him to watch wicked? Is it out on DVD and I didn't know it?

The Marriage "degree" thing...From what I have seen in my institute classes, the guys want educated girls, but they date the 18 year old bank employees first then wait the for the marriageable girls to get their PHD's and then look at them for marriage (so that they can work for the next 40 years and providde him with toys). (By the way, the bank tellers are already married to the cute little returned missionaries who just got home and are "really" looking for wives.

shauna said...

P.S. sorry about the spelling on providde...I was one of the bank tellers...(sorry to all of you bank tellers...I was just reaching deep into my sarcasm pocket). He probably is sitting at home with HIS pants tucked into his Napoleon Dynamite boots.

Was his article signed or anonymous? I hope he likes the University of Utah! Ha Ha I can hardly wait to see what the responses will be. I hope that Elder Oaks reads it. If I read his talk correctly, that sign on the door means "Don't come to be fed and just 'hang out'".

Æ Photography said...

Um, I'm all for asking questions about sports, and about the staying quiet at games? Ok then you guys can't yell and scream when you get excited. Remember? You're there to watch, not participate.

I can't even comment on the rest because all of his words remind me of The One I Do Not Speak Of, and I'd rather not barf up the rice cakes I just shoved down my throat for lunch. (yay diets.)

Æ Photography said...

by the way, Æ photography is me, Alli. I changed my signature so my photo blog doesn't say "Alli Fantastico", although Alli Fantastico is quite a professional moniker, if I do say so myself.

ashleyO said...

dang i wrote a whole response and it didnt go through!!! pissant.

Um, well yes this guy sucks lemons and I love that Mandy called him a schmuck...

Mom is crazy! I seez where wez getz'it!!! Spit fire. And I love the part about the moon boots. Oh and I Wicked on DVD!? lol more like YouTube :) Alli I knew it was you. I do love the Alli Fantastico but just know that it will always be in my heart.

YOU GUYS MUST SEE THE RESPONSES I GOT FROM THE MALES ON FACEBOOK!!! They agreed with the article...I mean I do to some minute point but still it makes me want to throw up in a jar and save it so i can hide it under his air vents. Mmmm nothing better than warm vomit stench!

It's sad what our world is coming to, really.

-KJ said...

I was gonna say Alli. THREE sighn in names? I guess "Alli Fantastico" would be a little self praising on your photo blog, but hey, if it's true...!

I have to say that I am a fan of big sunglasses, but not Nicole Richie size. I also think Oli looks super cute in her pink furry snow boots (that she herself demands to wear at all times), but I ROLL her pants. Is that ok? She thinks she is fancy.

-KJ said...

HELLO! I say YOU respond!!! I didn't read your comment in time because I was already commenting. Tell those guys to ask a girl out instead of picking their blackheads in their spare time!

Vomit in a jar is very Paul and Cal Nelsonesque.

ashleyO said...

Well pink furry boots on cute KJ babies are fine with should see the ones in my ward. Up the the knee with the pompoms at the end of the laces!!! To Church!!!??? On Earth??!!! My friend can pass off the big sunglasses cuz she has a big face. I do not.

the vomit is very paul/cal nelsonesqueish! hahah

shauna said...

Eliminate all of those schmucks from your facebook. Clean up the junk in your life!!!!

I have always said that there are no daughters of perdition, just SONS!! TOTALLY JUST KIDDING!!!

ashleyO said...

hahahaha wow!!! Dat's me muddah!

Bree :--) said...

You guys are awesome!! What a lame guy, and all others that agreed with him! BUT, I do have a confession to make...I LOVE the tall boots with pants tucked in/rolled up. I've been kinda looking for some! I know that's gonna make you sick, but it's true! But, I'm ok if you want to make fun of me...I can handle it!

ashleyO said...

no no!!! I can handle them. I just dont like the girls that can't pass them off but do it YOU could because you are a skinny bum!!! and it fits you. but there is a point where the boots are TOOOOO furry. Also, i mainly don't like how girls wear them to church. Would they wear them to the temple? i don't think so!!! and I don't judge the ppl that wear them. Just the boots themselves. they don't have feelings.

-KJ said...

I have the same feelings about girls who wear flip flops to church!!!! Arrgh! Makes me crazy! Your are only allowed to do that if you live in a third world country or if you are pregnant and retaining so much water your feet can't fit into normal shoes. THE END!!!

Oh, and I hate when dumb young women bring blankest to church! Wha? Where are their coats...and their mothers!

-KJ said...

That was supposed to say blankeTS.

shauna said...

Bree...get the boots. You can make that work. BUT people with legs like logs shouldn't wear them. Also, I had one question about the football issue. I would just love to turn to that guy and say...why don't you play football instead of just being a spectator??? Wuss...I have to be done with this thing. Good comment about the blanket thing, KJ. I always wondered what that was about???

shark like a fox said...

blankets to church???????

blankets to....anywhere besides your own home, barring of course camping trips?????????????????

nicole said...

oh my ashley, i can not believe you found me, i went into hiding so you are the lucky winner.
about this being single thing, i agree he is out of his element to say those kind of things. most things he did say were more tangent and worse for him. my thought is that all these things have happened to him so he is retaliating.

Preston & Taylor White said...

You are hilarious!! I miss ys chick!

taylor cash white